Who else thinks the ways brains try and trip you up in life is wicked weird? I had a job interview today, and I was bricking it almost to the point of not going. Even though putting myself out there and getting some money in would properly save my day/arse. But once I got there I felt fine, the old dude behind the desk was ace. Had a deep yorkshire accent and a laugh that made friends. Then even the guy conducted the interview was nice, and kindly ignored the fact I’m a twat and can’t pronounce “specifically” while under pressure. All in all, I was ace enough to get through to the second round interviews, and the words “Tuesday at 2pm, assessment” are running riot in my headddddd.

I think in your life, you’re your own master of destiny. I’d love to believe in fate, really would. But it all comes to a point of you staring at the wall thinking “Yeah jobs will find me here.” that you have to buck your ideas up, don a suit and a fake I’m-in-love-with-everything-you’re-saying-right-now smile and just get the fuck on with life.

Having a good friend base always helps with confidence, does mine anyway. I’m lucky to know the most super, ace people in the history of super, ace people. And in my four/five months of need they’ve been there for me and I defo appreciate it. Also, new people you meet spur you on. I think it’s wicked weird how one day you meet someone through pure chance of it, then 3 weeks down the line you couldn’t possibly imagine your life without them in it.

I was thinking all this walking back from my interview, a nice leisurely 6 mile round trip, eating an apple in the sun. I also popped into the library, NO BUKOWSKI. I swear if it’s not “Mills and Boon” it doesn’t get a look in. You can’t get anything good out of our libraries.  ”Dear Mr Council Man, Please give us some decent free literature to read, and I’ll mega love you forever. Thanks a bunch.”

Thus concurs my little trip.

Mama Cass died of choking on a ham sandwich she was only 32.

He will eat you as you sleep for this.

He will eat you as you sleep for this.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m an AVID fan of giving domestic pets human names, Tiffany, Paul, Wesley to name but a few. But there’s just something that troubles me about people who over humanise their pets. With clothes, made especially for them, from little pet boutiques, that usually about £20 more than your own clothes. It doesn’t look cute. Your pet will just sit there, looking pissed off at you, slowly pulling together thoughts of how he/she can murder you. Has a cat ever been convicted of murder? Sat in a dock in front of a jury of his peers and explained how it all got a little bit too much to handle when you came home one day and presented them with a little cat sized wedding suit and introduced you to that grim looking moggy from down the road , how he went mental and jumped at your jugular just to end the suffering. You can guarentee if they have… Somewhere along the line it would have involved pet sized clothes and a headcase owner.

Also, when people leave labels on the bottoms of their new shoes. That’s annoying too.

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